In my mind’s eye

I love nature. God’s creation is beautiful, it is restorative, it allows me to connect with my soul in a way that nothing else can.

Every place that I have called home has had some special place where I could go to recharge, breathe deeply, connect with the natural world and quiet the noise in my own mind.

When I lived in Puebla, I often escaped to the rooftop at night to lay on my back and stare up at the galaxy laid out before me. I miss those stars. I guess it was the high altitude combined with few city lights to interfere, but those night skies of my childhood in Mexico were the most beautiful that I have ever seen.

When I lived in Oregon, one of my favorite places to go when I had a rough day at work or life (and those were some trying years), I would often find myself just driving west as far as I could go… literally. I would end up in Yachats, Oregon a tiny town on the Pacific Coast. I would go out on the rocks that jutted out into the ocean and that’s where I could find tranquility.

There are other places that hold a special place in my heart as well, but these are two of the places that I often revisit in my mind’s eye. I was thinking of those rocks out there in the ocean the other night when I wrote the following…

Misted with the scent of ocean spray, hair styled by the wind, skin colored by the sun, I sit perched on the furthest rocks not yet swallowed by the rising tide. Silent. And blissfully alone. This is where my soul finds peace, where restoration begins.

The sound of the waves is all encompassing, embracing me, shielding me from the noise in my own mind. I close my eyes and turn my face into the wind, breathing deeply. A sigh escapes, taking with it the stress of my day.

I open my eyes and I smile. Around me the waves race by like a herd of horses fleeing a predator, waves crest and crash like mane blowing wildly in the wind. A seagull floats by overhead, its wings catching the currents above. Shades of blue and gray and white stretch out before me, I sit on the edge of the world and I see that I am small. And my problems become smaller.

This is not a calm sea, but a roiling ocean. All around me is chaos. Not waves that gently lap the shore, these are waves that froth and pound. No gentle lulling rhythmic swells but violent raging crashing beautiful madness. The raw power of its nature is stunning and humbling. It leaves me feeling vulnerable yet somehow empowered. I sit there calmly in the midst of its rage and remain untouched beyond the salty kiss it sends in the wind.

I leave when I must, not a moment sooner. I leave with regret that the moment must end. I leave knowing I will return. I leave a bit of myself behind, I take a bit of the sea in its place. She becomes a part of me. Her strength is mine, her beauty I hold close to my heart, her majesty lifts my head high. I leave for her my bitterness and rage, it’s for her now to throw against the rocks and beat on the shore. I leave for her my tears of pain and sorrow, she will embrace them as her own. I will leave with her a bit of the chaos from my soul and she will make it a thing of beauty for another to behold.


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